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Kindness Has Companions

There are certain words in the Bible that travel together. Glory and grace are such a pair and can often be seen in close proximity to each other. Paul uses the grace, mercy, and peace triplets in introducing his letters. Mercy and truth sometimes meet together and righteousness and peace have been seen kissing each other (see Psalm 85:10).

I like to call words like this “companions” to each other. Noticing these patterns can help amplify the meaning and significance of each individual word. They can give a sense of balance to each characteristic that the word describes.

I have a good friend that is kind. She describes herself as kind and I can definitely see that about her. I am thankful for the kindness she has shown to me. Because her kindness is such a beautiful characteristic, I have been thinking a lot about how to have more of it my life.

Here is a definition of kindness from Webster’s 1828 Dictionary:

Good will; benevolence; that temper or disposition...

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The Heart Follows the Treasure

12 steps progress recovery Mar 12, 2021

I love porn.

What a crazy statement. I loved the very thing that was destroying my marriage, my ministry, and my purpose and happiness in life. And yet,  I can remember thinking this and even saying it out loud over the years. How could my heart be attached to something so evil and destructive?

The answer is based on a simple statement made by our Lord Jesus Christ:

“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” (Matthew 6:21; Luke 12:34).

Intuitively, it seems like the statement should be reversed. If my heart desires and loves something, then I will pursue it and invest in it. But our Lord’s way is true: my heart will be drawn to the things that I invest my treasure in, treasure being represented by my time, money, and effort.

I invested a lot of treasure in porn and sexual sin. It took a lot of time and effort to live a secret life and try to hide it. I was clever and creative in my deception—and that was my treasure. It’s...

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Measuring Progress

12 steps healing progress Mar 03, 2021

Dan Sullivan, a renowned business coach, teaches a concept he calls the gap and the gain. The gap is the distance between where we are and where we want to be. No matter how successful we are, there is always going to be a gap between where we are and where we want to be, especially if we compare ourselves with others. This can lead to discouragement and a never-ending chase for something more. It is a future-focus that can rob us of seeing the important things in our lives right now. On the other hand, the gain is measuring and celebrating the progress we have made (and are making) along the way.

This is especially pertinent for those of us in recovery. If we measure the gap between where we are and where we want to be, we can easily become disheartened and get a “what’s the use” attitude. Recovery can be slow and painful, especially when we are dealing with the consequences of our behavior and the fallout of disclosure. We can feel like we are at the foothills,...

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Stop Hiding

Isolation. Hiding. Secrets. “In our own heads.” These are familiar concepts to us. There is a sense of comfort in them because we feel the illusion of safety and protection. 

But alone. And separate. There is loneliness and desperation in isolation and hiding. We long for connection to God and others because that is how we were designed. Many of us are around families, friends, co-workers, and church members, but still hiding. Hiding in plain sight.

That is the beauty of the 12-step meeting: you start to come out of hiding just by being there; you don’t have to say anything. The other attendees know something about you that your loved ones may not know yet. That can be the first step in breaking the chains of addiction.

Attendance is only the start. As difficult as it may be, there will be a time when you will need to speak. Healthy relationships require communication and this is something you will have to learn. A meeting is a good place because when you...

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Certainty Meets Certainty - Part 3

death salvation Feb 17, 2021

After establishing that death is separation, we can now turn our attention to life, specifically spiritual life. Having a basic understanding of death will help us make sense of what spiritual life is.

Let’s start with Jesus Christ’s command to Nicodemus to be “born again.”

“Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God….Marvel not that I said unto thee, Ye must be born again” (John 3:3, 7).

There is a lot of misunderstanding about the phrase “born again.” Some people think of it in terms of membership in a religion or denomination: he is a born again, he is a Catholic, he is a Buddhist, etc. It is often used incorrectly as a label to identify a religious affiliation.

But let’s go back to the definition of spiritual death as separation from God. If I became separated from God through spiritual death, then in order to be reunited to Him, I...

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Certainty Meets Certainty - Part 2

death salvation Feb 16, 2021

Death is separation. Death is not annihilation or non-existence. It is not destruction in an absolute sense. At its core, physical death is separation, separation of the spirit and soul from the body. And spiritual death is separation of the human spirit from God’s Spirit.

This is a key concept that explains how death is used throughout the Bible. For example, what did Jesus mean when He said, “Let the dead bury their dead” (Luke 9:60)? We can be sure that He didn’t mean let the physically dead bury the physically dead. But letting the spiritually dead bury the physically dead makes perfect sense.

Consider this verse:

“And you hath he quickened, who were dead in trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1, emphasis added).

Someone was dead, but then made alive (quickened). They were spiritually dead (separated from God) and then made alive (united with God in spirit).

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him...

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Certainty Meets Certainty - Part 1

death salvation Feb 14, 2021

As part of a longer quote, Benjamin Franklin asserted that “nothing is certain except death and taxes.” The Bible tells us that we all have an appointment with death and that “we have the sentence of death in ourselves”; in other words, we are under a death sentence. We are all on death row.

Death is an unpleasant topic and most of us would prefer to postpone the thought of it as long as possible. Man’s fear of death is quite natural and reasonable and that fear can be a source of anguish, distress, and bondage. While death itself is certain, what happens afterward is quite uncertain to many people. The fear of death is the fear of the unknown.

But what if we can be certain about what is beyond this life? What if the certainty of death is matched with certainty about the other side of death? Would that remove our fears and give us a reason to live differently? This is what I want to demonstrate: God has given us enough information to know with certainty...

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How to Eat Chicken Wings

12 steps progress Feb 13, 2021

How do you eat chicken wings? Not the boneless kind, but just normal, everyday chicken wings. You eat the meat and leave the bones. You consume the good parts and leave behind the bad parts. Obvious and simple when it comes to food, but what about in the world of ideas?

A good chicken wing is a “package”; the meat and bones travel together. I am going to sift through it with my fingers and mouth to get the good stuff. I may find that some unwanted stuff gets through that I have to spit out. The stuff I don’t want will be left behind and discarded.

I don't like seafood too much but I was eating with one of my buddies and he was pulling small pieces of meat from some kind of crustacean. I swear that there was more debris on his plate after he finished eating than before, but he seemed quite full and satisfied when he was done. He certainly knew what the good parts were and how to get them. And he knew what parts to leave behind.

The problem for me has been an...

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Thoughts - Part 3

thoughts Feb 09, 2021

The seat of spiritual warfare

“For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled” (2 Corinthians 10:3–6).

This passage shows that Christian warfare takes place in the spirit world, not the physical world. The weapons are not carnal, that is, physical or earthly, because the battleground is in the mind. There are non-material thoughts and imaginations that are strongholds that need to be pulled down.

It is quite astonishing to realize that the human mind is actually a war zone. This may be why there is an immediate assurance in the parenthetical statement that our weapons are “mighty...

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The Cure for Oblivion

progress relationships Feb 09, 2021

A woman recently told me that she always seems to end up with oblivious men. We both laughed and I responded that oblivion may be a general feature of the gender. 

Except I wasn’t really kidding. I have both been accused of being oblivious and have confessed to it, so I have given a lot of thought to the subject.

Google tells me that oblivion is “the state of being unaware or unconscious of what is happening.” I admit to using this as a comfortable excuse for my own relational mistakes and messes. It’s easier to admit to being clueless instead of selfish or evil.

Of course the dictionary doesn’t give us the “why” behind someone’s oblivion. Maybe it stems from ignorance, which sounds innocent until you consider willful ignorance. In other words, I am oblivious because I don’t care about you so leave me alone. The oblivious person may be a selfish, narcissistic bastard that is trying to hurt you. Oblivion can be a smokescreen...

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